


How to Give Harry Potter a Heart Attack

by allix



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Healer Draco, M/M, Mpreg, Phone Conversations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2015-06-10
Packaged: 2018-04-03 19:13:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4111939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allix/pseuds/allix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Draco has become a healer, and Harry finds that Draco is trying to give him a heart attack. Perhaps, it might even be pay back for the times he found himself in Saint Mungo's as a patient.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Give Harry Potter a Heart Attack

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a post on tumblr by outragouspansexual
> 
> This is my first fanfic on AO3, and my first finished fic in quite some time. I haven't had a beta go over this, and as I am not British (instead Australian), I may not have the language right. The title is lame, I know, but I had no idea what to title this!
> 
> It was just a bit of fun, and I enjoyed writing this immensely so please, I hope you enjoy reading this!
> 
> (ps. this is a one-shot, but I would be open to writing more on these two if there is interest/ideas on what happened before/after)

“Harry? Don’t freak out, but I’m at St Mungos..”

“MERLIN Draco! Is everything alright? Did something happen at work? I know it’s your first day, but I am meant to be the one that attracts disaster…” cutting his babbling off and effectively banishing the anguish that had been building, Harry finally clicked on to what his stupid, supposedly better half was trying to pull. 

“Wait a second. You are a healer, Malfoy. And on another note, why would you think to play such a nasty joke on me?” Ready to launch into a tirade, one enviable of any of the numerous times Draco had directed his wrath at his lover because of Harry’s own frequent trips to St Mongos from any of the injures or curses he sustained due to his position as an Auror. 

“I’m sorry love, I thought it would be a bit funny.. It’s not like I will be getting any of those calls now that you’re no longer out in the field. Plus it’s my break time at the moment and I thought it would be nice to give you a call, which I assumed you would appreciate considering the amount of times you try to get me to use this muggle communication device”

Shaking his head at the ridiculousness, and utter Draco-ness of that comment, Harry found his anger tampering off before he could even express his outrage. Which wasn’t a uncommon occurrence in their relationship. 

“It’s a cell phone, or otherwise referred to as a mobile Draco, you don’t need to state that it isn’t magical. You have to admit it is awfully useful though, right?”

“Yes love it is, I love being able to hear you voice” Not absolutely sure if that comment was only made in order to further placate Harry’s earlier displeasure, he couldn’t help but melt at the words

“Awww Dra..”

“Don’t! I repeat, do not ever tell Granger about this”

Merlin, even though he knew Draco’s empty treats were nothing more then an attempt to cover the soft, sensitive side that only Harry himself was privy to, he still couldn’t stop the exasperated sigh that escaped his mouth as he narrowed his eyes. Using his tone of voice, he effectively portrayed to his absolute tit of a partner that the frustration that Draco has been the source of had now been renewed. 

“Draco Malfoy. You damn well know it is Hermione Granger-Weasley now. Especially after we attended their wedding not long ago. Which, might I add, is the night you took it upon yourself to effectively ruin any chance I have at being promoted to head Auror”

“Ah, yes! It’s always my fault isn’t it? It wasn’t like you didn’t have an active role in those particular activities. Might I add, you can go back to working in the field if you so desperately wish and continue down the Auror career pathway” a slightly raised voice returned, in exactly the same way it had every other time this topic had come up in the past few weeks.

“We have already had this discussion, because of our current situation it has prompted me to re-evaluate the direction in which my life is heading, with you by my side of course. I fancy a change in career now that our lives will drastically be changing over the coming months. Time to stop risking my neck for others”

“Finally, it’s only taken you fucking years since you killed Voldemort to be done with your so called duty” he basically spat out. 

Although Draco was very much aware that Harry had only really become an Auror because he had felt it was the expected thing for him to have done after the war was finished..he still was very emotional over the risks being an Auror entailed. Not that he could blame Draco one bit for being overjoyed every time Harry reassured him that the part of his life where he chased after dark wizards was coming to a close. 

After all, there was a position at Hogwarts that continued to have his name on it since the restoration. 

\- - - 

“Hello?” Harry answered his mobile, not having the chance to check the called id. Although he was sure it would either be Hermione or Draco, since they were the only ones that he really knew that used the device. 

“Hello Love, I’m at St Mungo’s. But don’t worry, all is fine” Ah, well that was answer enough. 

“Did you really think I would fall for that after last week?”

“No, but I thought I would try just encase. You know how I love riling you up”

“Oh, I think after many years of school, and the last couple of years dating you, I am extremely aware of your love for poking fun at me” they do say that fighting is a form of foreplay, and that surely works for us Harry thought to himself. 

“Thats not the only thing I like poking at you, or well poking you with..”

“Yes, also distinctly aware of that love, in fact no one will be able to deny this fact over the next few months”

“I can’t wait! Which brings me to the reason I called, we have dinner tonight with my mum to let her know our very special news” 

“I know, and then we can finally tell the Weasley’s at this Fridays dinner. It’s been hard enough trying to cover why I haven’t been drinking, or why certain foods. Alright, I guess I’ll see you soon then?”

“Sure will, love you Harry” and with a click of the phone, the conversation was done and Harry was left to continue stressing about the nights dinner. God knows how Lucius and Narcissa would react to the news that their perfect son had knocked up the ‘saviour of the wizarding world’. 

\- - -

“Hey Love”

“Draco, where are you?!” worry was laced through Harry’s words, he hadn’t heard from his other half in quite some time and he should have by now.

“Oh, I’m at the hospital. But I’ll be fine love”

“You’ll only be fine if you actually turn up at our appointment”

“Fuck..”

“Malfoy, you better not have forgotten that we are to see our prenatal healer today”

“Well..”

“Oh merlin, I should have bloody well known. I’ll just meet you there then. And I swear, if you do not turn up on time… Well let’s just say you’ll be thankful that the appointment is at St Mungo’s and you won’t have to go far to see someone”

Maybe Harry could be a single parent, he was sure there was some way he could blame his erratic, pregnancy affected magic get away with blowing up Draco like he did Marjorie Dursley in the third year. 

\- - -

"Hey love, I'm at St Mungo's.."

"Do you want to give me a heart attack before I have this baby?" Was the only response given as Harry hung up before Draco could even tell him why he'd called. 

Declining two more calls, Harry decided he was definitely going to find a way to kill his idiotic boyfriend. 

\- - -

“Hello Harry, now don’t worry, but I am at St Mungos…”

“Fuck off Malfoy, unless you’re coming home with a huge jar of pickles and some pumpkin pie ice cream I don’t have time for this shit today”

“Okay love, I’ll stop by the shops on the way home to pick those up for you. I’ve just finished my shift and wanted to make sure you and the baby didn’t need anything before I left”

“Damn right you were checking with me. Oh and don’t forget those potions, we’re almost out and my feet are aching so bad today”

“I won’t, they’re already in my bag, see you soon love”

Maybe Harry might just keep Draco around, if he kept being nice and thoughtful, the foot rubs were quite nice after all. 

\- - -

“DRACO! I’M AT ST MUNGO’S AND YOU DAMN WELL BETTER BE FREAKING OUT BECAUSE I AM HAVING THIS BABY NOW AND YOU ARE NO WHERE TO BE FOUND YOU FUCKING BASTARD”

“I can hear you from down the hall, don’t worry I’ll be there in a second, just hold on love”

\- - -

 

“Harry? No cause for worry but I’m at St Mungos..”

The clatter of a dropped phone could be heard on either end as a four year old scorpius ran from the kitchen into his parents bathroom shouting out to his dad.

“DADDY! FATHER IS AT ST MUNGOS”

Hearing his son’s exclamation, Draco just knew he would be in trouble. Perhaps it was time he stopped using that introduction. Hearing Harry’s approaching voice, and the muttered curses made Draco think that perhaps they both would hold the same view on the matter. 

\- - - 

“Hey Father, don’t freak out, but I’m at the hospital.”

“For Merlin’s Sake Scorpius! You’ve been a muggle doctor for five years now, you work in a damn hospital. Don’t try giving your old father a heart attack like that…”

Peals of laughter could be heard on the other end of the phone as Scorpius heard his dad call out in the background.

“Oh common Draco, where do you think he got that ridiculous line? You started it your first official day as a healer when I was pregnant with your son”

 

fin.


End file.
